Tokyo-3 Afterlife

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09/21/2005 - 00:00

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Being dead kinda sucks... (Evangelion)

  1. At exactly three-fifteen on a bright, sunny afternoon, Asuka Langley Souryu was hit by a
    semi truck on her way home from school and killed instantly.

    On a scale of one to ten, with one being pleasant and ten
    being the worst thing that had ever happened to her, Asuka
    rated this event at about an eight point five.

    "You've gotta be kidding me," she
    groused as she stared down at her broken body, "that
    was my favorite shirt!"

  2. Every human being has a threshold for annoyance, from easily
    irritated thugs to long-suffering saints.
    Rei liked to feel that she fell somewhere in
    between, leaning quite heavily towards the saint end.

    "Flat tire!"

    She was starting to question this standpoint.

    "Please stop that," she murmured, pausing to push her foot
    back into her shoe, "I am starting to chafe."

    "Hey," the ghost of the Second Child countered, "at least
    you CAN chafe!"

  3. Rei woke feeling groggy and
    ill-rested - not surprising, since Asuka had kept her
    up half the night pestering her to make prank calls to the Commander.

    'Come on,' the redhead had coaxed, 'just once. We'll tell him we've found a new angel
    growing in the school cafeteria chili.
    It'll be great!'

    Rei, who doubted that this hoax
    would be anything close to great, insisted that Asuka
    let her get some sleep, finally convincing the Second that if she collapsed
    from fatigue, the redhead would have no one to talk to.

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