Uncommon Law

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04/22/2007 - 00:00

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One day, while minding his own business, Shinji recieves a letter in the mail and discovers (much to his chagrin) that there have been some pretty serious modifications to Japan's common law statutes. Mild humor and occasional cuteness ensue.

  1. Life is mean. Shinji learned this little lesson at a very young age, and throughout his life, it had been reinforced time and time again. As long as he could remember, just getting by was fine with him. He had no desire to try to make his situation better, as that made Life (capitalized in this instance) pay more attention to you - like the time he found that bike in a pile of trash and tried to take it home, and ended up being taken into the police station by a 'helpful' patrolman.

  2. For a while, nothing changed. True to her word, Asuka sent her paperwork off the next day, after watching Shinji sign it to 'make sure he wasn't trying anything funny,' and that weekend, Misato took all the Children out to dinner. Not steak dinner - she did use most of her check for bills - but dinner nonetheless.

    Asuka never even questioned where she had gotten the extra cash.

  3. Shinji found, during the next two days, that gossip traveled faster than the speed of sound. By the time he went in to NERV for synch tests, everyone had gotten the word that he was now Mister Katsuragi... and everyone felt the need to give him a hard time about it - especially, for reasons Shinji could not understand, Mister Hyouga, who seemed particularly grumpy when Misato playfully ruffled Shinji's hair and teasingly told everyone on the bridge that they better keep their hands off her husband.

  4. Shinji peered cautiously around the corner, looking up and down the corridor for any sign of Misato or Ritsuko. In the two days since bumping his head, the Third had seen more cleavage, and been pulled into more impromptu hugs, than at any time in his life. He could tell you the molecular composition of Misato's lavender perfume, and while he did not know the name of Ritsuko's fragrance, if he closed his eyes he could accurately describe the lilting, dewy scent which, for some reason, made his mouth water.

  5. "You nail her yet?"

    Shinji sighed, deeply, and kept his eyes on his homework. "No, Touji," he said patiently, "I haven't nailed her yet."

    "But Katsuragi," Asuka's voice chipped in, "how are you going to impregnate your blushing bride if you don't, as your stooge friend put it, 'nail' her, hmm?"

  6. When Misato finally stopped laughing (which took some time) she examined the subpoena, her lips moving as her shoulders hunched with repressed giggles. "Hmm," she hummed, handing the piece of paper back to Asuka, "guess we need to get to the courthouse and clear this up, Missus-"

    "Don't even say it," Asuka threatened darkly, "just get your damn keys and let's go! Unbelievable... this was supposed to be a simple procedure, damn it!"

  7. Asuka stayed in her room for the rest of the weekend... which made Shinji very, very nervous. Misato kept telling him not to worry about what his other wife was doing (taking great pleasure in pointing out the irony that Asuka was the Second Child and the Second Wife) and to just enjoy the quiet, but Shinji knew that quiet often meant trouble - and trouble seemed to have a soft spot for him, finding him wherever he went and whatever he did.

  8. Misato lounged against the wall of the pribnow box, half listening to the synch test procedures and chewing thoughtfully on one of her knuckles. She was not anxious, per se, simply distracted, and it did not go unnoticed.

    "Trouble in paradise?"

    Looking up as Ritsuko sauntered up to her, Misato shook her head. "Nah," she said lightly, "just trying to think up new ways to make my husband blush."

  9. Asuka glanced around the smoky bar with some distaste, wondering if perhaps she had not been misdirected. The place had been described to her as 'kind of low-rent,' though the word she would have used was 'shithole.' The walls, once white, she assumed, were a nauseating, nicotine yellow, almost - but not quite - matching the beer, or possibly urine, yellow of the floor.

  10. Asuka and Misato stole down the hallway in Rei's apartment building with all the stealth and skill of a small heard of elephants. "Oh my God, would you shut up?" Asuka hissed as the older woman kicked a can halfway down the hall. "We're trying to be quiet, remember?"

    "Shut up," Misato hissed, "you'll tip them off!"

    "I'll tip them- GAH!" Asuka threw her hands up in disgust. "Just hurry up, we're almost there."

  11. A couple of days after the debacle at Rei's apartment, Misato stood waiting for her husband outside of the showers at NERV. So far, Asuka had not done anything overt to get the Third's attention, but Misato knew the redhead was just biding her time and waiting for the best opportunity. That girl's more determined than the Commander when she wants something, she mused, and I still... I'm still not sure what I would do if I had Shinji all to myself.

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